This week I’ve witnessed two incidents related to rudeness and started to question what is rudeness.
Incident no 1:
My partner’s parents came round for dinner at the flat and when they got here, my boyfriend was still playing his Xbox game. His mother went mental saying ‘it is so rude that I’ve come round and you are ignoring us while you finish your game you should have turned it off as soon as I got here’.
Now I get that, I get frustrated every day I come home to him playing Xbox but I just accept it’s his way of destressing after work and once the game had finished he often does just switch it off and assist me with preparing the evening meal.
Is this any different as his parents come round? I’m unsure. If he was just finishing an email or document for work would she class that rude as well? Or if he was on the phone, would she expect him to end the call. If my boyfriend had reacted differently maybe she wouldn’t have thought it was so rude. Maybe if he paused it said hello, greeted her with a hug, then asked if it was okay to just finish the game, it’s only got a few minutes left would that be less rude. Probably. Was it rude for his mother to expect a grown man to finish a task just because they arrived in at their house? Not sure.
Incident no. 2:
Me and my colleague were talking while another colleague took a phone call. Now considering we were sat next to each other we were just talking at normal volume for a conversation. While my other colleague was on the phone, he sushed us. Then after the call, said it was so rude we were talking while he was on the phone. Now had he said something such as ‘sorry I’m just on the phone and struggling to hear them’. We would have thought it was less rude.
If we were in a normal office environment, you wouldn’t stop your conversation every time someone picked up the phone otherwise you would sit in silence all day. And it isn’t unusual to actually just leave the room so you can let everyone else resume their work and not over hear your conversation. Personally I find it uncomfortable if everyone stops talking when you are on the phone as then I find everyone is listening into your conversation, which is also rude.
But was we being rude? Was it we weren’t whispering the conversation that made it rude? I personally find whispering rude.
So what is rudeness? Can it be defined? Can you unrude a situation?